so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
