Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Let's paint friendship bongs
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
