I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
