So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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