my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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