Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
