he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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