Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
