belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
