he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I don't think brook has ever known best
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
