you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
