I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
