we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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