he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
