you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
