Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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