I'm really into asian looking animals
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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