No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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