like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
