he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
