ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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