how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
