Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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