Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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