problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
