yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
