i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
