I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
