oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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