after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
