just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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