Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
