Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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