I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
