I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
