Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
