How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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