It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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