I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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