So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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