i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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