Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
