Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
