dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
