Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I faked an abortion last night.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
operation have a gay friend backfired
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm like, not good at living.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
