Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
