So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize