I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
