We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
