Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
