i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
